Confidence isn’t a dirty word.
Do you want more confidence? How do you get it and why do some people have it and others don’t? 🤔
Alot of people are too scared to be confident out of fear of being judged. If you stand in front of a room of people what are you thinking about?
Is it that:
they are checking me out - what if they don’t like what they see?
they are not going to believe anything I have to say!
I’m not going to be able to articulate my thoughts and they won’t understand me!
Now let me ask you this? If you stood in front of a room filled with 5 year olds, could you still give that same talk? The likely answer is YES!
💭 So why do we care so much when it is in front of another audience, like our peers/colleagues/clients?
Put quite simply, we value them more than we value ourselves. The only difference between the 5 year olds and your peers is what you tell yourself about the two different groups.
The way to overcome this, is to write 📝 down 100-200 reasons why you value yourself and include in this, why no one else is better than you and why you are no better than anyone else. Trust me, this works. You are re-programming your brain 🧠 so it no longer believes that you are any less of a person than what your subconscious is telling you.
Secondly, the fear, the nerves, the anxiety stands in the way of you being confident right?
How do you stop that? 🤷♀️
This is another idea that you need to reframe. 🛑 using those words!
Think about this… two people are about to go bungee jumping, one person has “nerves” the other is “excited”. What is the difference between these two people in terms of their energy?
💥NOTHING! These two feelings create the same reaction in the body (nervous energy, heart racing, sweating, shaking etc). The difference is only their MINDSET. One person names the energy different to the other. So let’s reframe the language behind fear, nervous, anxiety etc. so that you feel more confident.
Let’s change the word to EXPANSION! Think of your chest opening and your self worth is improving, growing and increasing. You are about to take who you are to the next level- you are expanding! Next time you are about to do something out of your comfort zone, tell yourself that you are EXPANDING!💫
Lastly, no one is born with confidence so stop telling yourself that story!!
We have all seen those over confident, cocky and perhaps pompous individuals who ooze confidence. Confidence can look ugly and that is because those individuals have a sense of entitlement and they overestimate themselves. Confidence is built. It is like a muscle 💪 that you need to work on to help it get stronger. You can’t wake up one day and say I want big biceps!
You need to practise those bicep curls on a regular basis until you reach the point where you are satisfied.
Practise, practise, practise. If you are giving a presentation, speak it out 🗣 to yourself in the mirror, grab your partner and practise to them. The wonderful thing about building confidence for a talk is that you can practise it until you know it off by heart. Then all you need to do is walk into the room with the idea that you are expanding and no one else in that room is better than you!
Confidence is something we all have inside us, just like when you learnt to ride a bike. After a few falls, training wheels removed, countless rides around the block, you are ready to go and start doing “wheelies”! 🚴♀️🚴♀️🚴♀️
In summary, remember everyone on this planet is equal, we are all human. Write down your reasons why you value yourself. Reframe the fear to EXPANSION, use this word every time you are about to do that thing that gives you a lack of confidence. Remember to practise! You can only get better each and every time - that is a guarantee! 🏅
